Unrequested Advice

I’ve always been fairly judgemental when it comes to how adults parent their children.  I’ve babysat most of my life and come across some very wonderful families and early on some very …. strange families.   As I’ve grown up, I’ve realized why certain decisions work for certain families for certain reasons.  And after working in the school system over the past 2 and a half years, while not directly observing parenting, it becomes apparent (hah….get it?) what goes on at home.  Regardless, I’ve done my best to keep an open mind (which may contradict my opening statement). 

Recently, I’ve had the privilege to witness some of the most entertaining parenting.  I don’t know how these stories will translate… at any rate, here goes it.

One Saturday afternoon, Gordon and I stopped by Chick Fil A for a quick lunch since we were out and about getting “things” done.  There is a family of 5 in front of us ordering.  After they order, we step up to the counter to get our grub.  Moments later, dad butts in and requests a chocolate milk that has a boy on it because the one he was given has a girl on it and he doesn’t want his son to get upset.  *DEEEEEEP breath in….and out*  YOU GET WHAT YOU GET.  Tell your kid to get over it.  It’s milk. 

So we are all enjoying our Chick Fil A… Thankfully (I’m rolling my eyes) Gordon has chosen a seat nearby the family.  Ugh.  I get another glimpse into the roles in this family as their daughter eagerly picks her nose at the table while eating.  WWRD?  What Would Robin Do?  Nose issues are tricky with me.  I understand….sometimes you gotta go for it.  But you’re at a restaurant.  Tell your kid to stop, go to the bathroom, take care of it however you need to and wash your hands.  Then you can join us at the table.  WDTDD?  What Does This Dad Do?  He takes her food away until she finishes digging.  NO.  You are in public.  Make her stop.  Thankfully, I was well into the 3rd trimester so there was no doubt I’d be able to finish my meal. 

Several days later, we find ourselves at the Sprint store so that Gordon can get his new work phone updated… or something.  I don’t know I’m an AT&T girl.  Enter young mother and 18 month old child.  Now I knew this would be entertaining just by the looks of this duo.  And she confirmed my assumption when she opened her mouth.  “My phone don’t work and my husband is out of town and it’s the only way I can talk to him.  And I have a baby.  You need to fix this.”  Of course she was not using her inside voice and I was in full on “Yea I’m Staring At You Because You’re Ridiculous” mode.  So she continued on for several minutes like this was everyone else’s problem and the world needed to stop, pronto.  The service guy behind the counter was very calm which I think only fueled her redneck fire, making me antsy in my seat for some action.  Well, the only action she got was a SLAP ACROSS HER FACE followed by a “SHUT UP!” from her 18 month old.  Man did she deserve it. 

 

So I’m at Homegoods… I love that store.  I will visit the same store Saturday AND Sunday just because you never know!  And if I make it to one in a weekend, I typically make it to the 3 others that are within a 10 mile radius just for kicks.  While making my purchase, a Homegoods Associate decided to come up beside me and make friends.  I’ve found when you’re pregnant, like really pregnant like I am, total strangers automatically assume you are their friend.  I think this is really wonderful to be honest.  The world should be like this.  Well this Associate dedcided to share some unrequested labor advice.  “There ain’t no reason for you to hurt like that… I got one word for you… EPIDUO”.  Oh… ok.  My response to advice is typically “THANKS!  I’ll keep that in mind”.  Yes, I was laughing (ALOT) in my head because she clearly doesn’t know that it’s not called an EPIDUO.  But she was actually embarassing me because I was literally walking out of the door and she was still yelling “EPIDUO….EPIDUO” at me repeatedly.  And if you know me, I’m not embarassed by much.  I mean, I used to fake fall in airports just to watch people’s faces.  I own 2 pairs of mom jeans.  I once showed up to school in my friend’s Spanish dance costume.  It was a Saturday but people were there setting up for a dance.  I’m usually the one embarassing others. 

Epiduo.  I’ll keep that in mind. 

 

Today while getting his hair cut, Gordon was telling the hair stylist about the pending birth of our baby.  Since my due date has come and gone, the stylist informed Gordon that I can be “reduced” to start labor.  Just in case you didn’t know…

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